Kylie Minogue is asking to be raped.

Kylie Minogue said in a recent interview with some magazine or another that she would happily be impregnated by Paul McCartney.

That is fair enough as he is currently on the market, apparently beats his partners, and used to play in a band that wrote songs about walruses and submarines. Filthy dogs.

We all know that is what that is all women want – A man who gives them a good belting, gives them a quick serenade and then unzips their fly and bust a load over their face as their cradle their newest black eye.

According to the source – I’m not going to bother finding it, you do the research – Kylie is aching to get pregnant, and McCartney is the man.

I feel that if a good looking Australian woman feels the need to have a rich, wankey Pom tosser slide it in and fertilize their nearly barren forty year old uterus, that it should be a national travesty. There are men here in Australia who would quite happily give her a few rounds.

My solution is simple. There is a fleet of submarines in Australia that currently do not have crews, as the current generation doesn’t think dying under a second atmosphere of water is a particularly “bravo” kind of experience.

What we do then, to solve both Kylie’s and the Navy’s problems, is simple. She should be kidnapped and held hostage in one of the submarines on a rotating basis. Any new recruit to the Australian Navy should then be given a ride on a trussed Kylie, her legs in stirrups, and her delightful wetness dripping, begging to be suppled and pumped.

When she finally falls pregnant she can be turned over and fucked up the arse for morale purposes.

Above: Needs a good fuck in the arse.